well the answer is.

i had to go to the bathroom at like 4ish this morning. and i couldn’t go back to sleep. i had heartburn and just couldn’t go back to sleep.

it is lame.

because as chris called me last night: ‘home schooled spoiled and have to wake up at 6′

haha.

gotta love him. he is a great friend. all of my friends are. i can’t believe i have a lot of friends graduating this year. and me next year. i am starting to realize that i am growing up and that i have a ton of responsibilities. and honestly, it is scaring me quite a bit. with the economy the way it is, and gas prices.  it is really scary. i have to take care of myself in a little more than a year. and already i have to pay for a lot of things i do. and i can’t find a job. no one wants to hire a teenager who volunteers and is actively involved with church. that seems to be the case with anywhere i apply. they ask for availability and tell them that during the summer it is difficult for me to be available every day. because various volunteer organizations, like therapeutic riding and walk1mile and all the different churches i go to and do work with them. honestly i can work every day, but at different times everyday and apparently that ticks off employers.

grr.

it is lame. but i know that God will provide.

ps: parental control is kind of obnoxious. hah.

since my last post.

tammie would be ashamed. since she posts nearly everyday. but then again people read her blog.

=]

well.

a lot and not a lot has happened in the last month.

um. i have been hanging out with tyler, lizzi, and david a lot. nearly every week we are all staying at lizzi’s. but her mom had surgery two weeks ago and we haven’t stayed there in two weeks. well people are staying with me this weekend. idk who all yet, but lizzi is definitely one of them since my parentals don’t allow me to have boys spend the night. but i could possible still see boys since they won’t be here. so it is ok. that is what a car is for. >.<

i need to do laundry, bleh, and clean my basement room and then the office and make the switch. a;dlkj. that isn’t going to be fun.

i hate packing/cleaning/moving.

oh well.

i might hang out with tyler tonight for a little bit.

oh. and exciting news…sunday is the first youth meeting at lizzi’s church. i am excited, i need to come up with some ideas for shirts, names and things to do. i really want to go to DC and i think everyone else does too. but they want to go and see stuff. i want to go see stuff and to see my friend gavin who lives there. he is amazing and i can’t wait to meet him. i think it will be fun.

=]

i am getting back into making friendship bracelets. i am doing a fun designyish one. haah.

idk how it will turn out but if it turns out nice i am giving it to chris.

so yea.

i am going to leave ya’ll now. ya’ll being tammie the only one who ever reads my blog.

haha.

grr.

my mouth is in pain. i cut open my gum in the back of my mouth and every time i eat it burns and when i open my mouth to talk it stretches it.

my cat is sleeping at the foot of my bed and she is really cute. >.<

and i am burning patchouli incense that david bought me.

sweeny todd wasn’t as good as i thought it would be, but it was good.

johnny depp is an amazing singer, i didn’t think he could do that.

haha.

leaving in an hourish to get lizzi from school and hanging out with her until cheryl and love pick us up to go sing for choir practice at her church.

bleh.

wet hair, i don’t feel like doing anything to it, and i don’t feel like putting on makeup either.

i will probably just change my shirt and then put on a hoodie and what not.

oh well.

love and God bless.

i am not cool enough to have a job right now.

or be at passion.

and tammie is cool enough to be at passion twice and have a cool newspaper job.

tammie: have a great passion encore!

good fortune is around you.

that is what my fortune cookie said last night. my mom opened it and ate the cookie. so if you believe the whole Chinese rules for fortune cookies, it won’t come true. but if you view it as a sign from God, then i believe it. because i just got fired from my job at karns. and i am worried about not finding a new one. gas prices are horrible, and i need money. i need $200 by the end of this month for my mission trip. i am struggling with a lot of drama with my friends. my parents are my parents and lame half the time and the other half the time i don’t see them.  believe it or not, there is some good in my life. with a few dwindling friendships, i am gaining and strengthening a lot more. my relationship with God is what i am trying to work out and make the strongest, but it is also the one i having the most trouble with, because it is so hard for me to put all of my trust and give up all of my control.  in the material world, i got a new phone. i got a chocolate, which i love. i love the sliding and touch screen part. but i know that material happiness doesn’t last for ever and i won’t remember it twenty years from now, but the friendships and relationships i am building have the potential to last for the rest of my life.

i need to buckle down on my school work, i am so far behind and i really want to go back to school next year and i need to be done by june so that i can register and get good classes for Carlisle.

now i am going to go heat up some Chinese food or eat some cereal and then hopefully work on school work and make some good progress. and later tonight, go to Thomas’ lacross game and Brad =]’s volleyball game.

i love my jock friends.

i haven’t posted in a looooong time.

partially because i forgot my password.

well. um. many things.

retreat was amazing.

leeland and casting crowns were amazing as well.

that weekend was just wonderful.

and for clarification:

i love brad =] i don’t hate him.

haha.

</3

last night when i got my pile of mail off the counter.

there was an odd piece of mail.

something actually hand written to me instead of the 50 thousand college information stuff.

i opened it first naturally,

inside was a card, and inside the card, a check for $100.

the card said it was for my trip to mississippi which i had given up hope on going to because of monetary reasons.

it was from a very nice man at my church who grew up with my nan.

she had been talking to him a few weeks ago at church.

and said was trying to figure out ways to pay for the trip.

and he asked for my address.

she gave it to him, but didn’t know how much or if he would send anything.

well he did.

that generous gift of $100.

i only need $200 now.

which i can get in two weeks from my new job cleaning for my dad.

which is amazing.

this is a sign from God that i AM supposed to go on this trip.

and that i am supposed to minister to people who are like me, well dress like me and listen to the same music i listen to and have piercings and tattoos.

and who don’t feel like they are accepted in the church.

He told me that in a dream a few weeks ago, and i thought ok that is a sign that i am not supposed to go to mississippi, because if i was i would have found a way to get money.

well.

i am going.

God wants me to.

many people want me to go.

i am supposed to go.

i am going!

no blog.

um.

exciting things.

car.

leeland concert ahead.

retreat same weekend as leeland.

lame things.

making plans for warped tour.

trying to plan it so i can go to the champ.

basically convincing pain in the butt and bull headed parents to let me.

joy full.

um.

later.

i bought a bunch of stuff yesterday.

shirts mostly.

and a pair of sweat pants.

confusion about friends and boys right now basically sums me up.

 oh and NOT going to passion.

booo!!!